The Importance Of Having A Tribe In Your 20s
"Go best friend, that's my best friend!"
I'm sure when we were all younger, a friendship was solidified with the sharing of a snack or the interaction between Barbies. It was simple and the depths of the relationships we fostered were never thought of as something to be long-standing or worth intentionally putting in any effort.
Now that we're older, who we choose to surround ourselves with is not only important but also vital to the person that we're becoming. Who's in your tribe?
Every Thursday comes around and I wait expectantly for my two best friends to come over as we sip on glasses of wine while watching Grey's Anatomy and How To Get Away With Murder. What starts out as a night of enjoying the entertainment of #TGIT usually ends up in long conversations, obnoxious laughs, and life updates. These are the moments with them that I've come to love the most, and it is also the moment I realized that... this is my tribe.
Maybe your tribe is small like mine or maybe you roll deep, but the important thing is having a solid group of friends in your life- especially in your 20s. Your tribe should consist of the people that are going to do life with you- do life with you when it's mundane or exciting or tragic or just a downright MESS.
Being a 20-something is.... well, it's weird. I know that's not the most eloquent way to put it, but that's what it is to me. You're trying to make sense of everything and everyone around you all while life is just coming at you really hard. That's where your tribe comes into play- because like I've said before: none of us are meant to go through life ALONE.
We're all wired to seek human connection and it's that innate desire within us that should lead us to not only finding our tribe as 20-somethings but also being intentional and aware about who is in our tribe.
Tribes build and break, people grow together and sometimes they grow apart but you should always be surrounded by those that share the same values, beliefs, and even standards as you. For example, if you're a believer and it's important to you that your friends are too- don't be out here "kiking" with someone(s) who can't even cover you in prayer. You feel me?
What's made its way to the top of my list of importance when it comes to my tribe is: comfortability. As cliche as it may sound, I'm just able to be my true self when I'm around my girls. They've seen me in every light: good, bad, and the ugliest of ugly. I feel comfort in knowing that they accept and love me for who I am right now, not for who I can be in the future or for who they want me to be.
Why is that important? You need a safe space where you're free to just grow in your 20s. A space surrounded by people that aren't judging you but supporting you as you're all just trying to navigate through life.
Even though this isn't where I was going when I started this post, I'll break the rest of it down like this...
1. Shows up. Real friends show up... period.
Having fun and living your best carefree 20-something life with your people is great, but who is going to show up for you when you're down bad and life ain't so sweet anymore? Most of us tend to feel like we're alone in this thing, and to have people that you know are going to show up in your highs AND lows is important.
2. Challenges you and pushes you to be/do better.
We're going to and probably have already made some terrible mistakes or decisions being in our 20s, but are the people around you pushing you to make better choices or hyping you up to go key Tyrone's car? The goal is to continue leveling up in life whether it be in relationships, careers, financially, spiritually, and everything else! Don't be surrounded by a bunch of "yes (wo)men", but by people that have your best interest at heart and will challenge you/push you towards greatness.
3. Doesn't compete.
Let's be real, social media makes it very clear that there is an abundance of 20-somethings that are out here getting it all. We begin to feel the pressure of "making it to the top" and it becomes a race. Who will get there first? You shouldn't be competing with your tribe though when one of you wins then all of you win. Their shine doesn't dim your light, it should enhance it.
4. Makes life feel lighter.
Laughter is one of the best forms of self-care, in my opinion. Being a 20-something starts to feel pretty dark at times and when I'm with my friends, life feels lighter. It doesn't matter what we're doing. We're on this journey together and I'm grateful for the moments with them sharing belly-aching laughs or adventuring or trying new things. Even when I get to have a good cry because I have a shoulder to rest my head on.
Here's to all of the tribes out there going and growing strong together. As we navigate through life in our 20s may we always be able to look to our left or right (or to our group message) and know that we have people beside us that are going to be there through it all.
Thank God for my tribe.
And thank you for reading, and don't forget... be great! xoxo.