How We Heal
We've all heard this saying before: hurt people, hurt people. Where does healing begin and is there ever an ending to it? Do we know the first steps to take to begin the healing process? How can we be honest with ourselves about our need for healing?
These are all questions that I've asked myself and to be quite honest, I still struggle with drawing an answer. It wasn't until the end of 2018 (a not-so-great year) that I began to look at the process of healing and it's importance in a completely different way. The mental and emotional scars that I thought had been patched up only continued to resurface. This made me wonder: are we aware of how we heal and are we intentional about healing in the most beneficial and fruitful ways?
"If you don't fix the hole in the soul.... you're working at the wrong thing." -Oprah
Let's be all the way real, we live in an age of instant gratification. We like things, well... instantly. Why wait for a package when you can get next day shipping? If the process can be expedited then we'd much rather go with that option, right? Right! With that being said, I think it's fair enough to say that some of us can approach our healing process/journey in the same way. I'll be the first to admit that I have. My hands are raised high, okay!
Healing doesn't happen over night and (unless you know something I don't know) it never will. Scars aren't "pretty" and they are constant reminders of the very things that have impacted us the most: emotionally and mentally. So, rather than unpacking those things... let's run away from them and pretend they don't exist!
Nuh uh, honey.
This goes without saying, but I'm no psychologist or anything of the sort. I'm not even giving you instructions on how to
heal because it looks different for everyone! I just couldn't keep ignoring the fact that the amount of hurting seems like it's out pacing the amount of healing.
Where do we go and how long does it take?
For some of us healing can mean breaking generational chains that have been so attached to who we are that they have inevitably affected our lives and the way we operate. For some of us healing can mean forgiving. For some of us healing can mean facing the things from our past that haunt us.
This journey is not linear- there are ups, downs, twists and sharp turns which means that one day healing can feel like a breath of crisp, fresh air and the next it can feel like you're suffocating. Learn the balance of doing what makes you feel good, but also holding your self accountable by doing what makes you uncomfortable when healing.
Healing can birth many beautiful things, but it ain't always gonna be an aesthetically pleasing fit on your feed. We owe it to our past, present and future selves to heal in ways and in spaces that are going to yield the greatest outcome for us. Now whether or not everyone is always granted this privilege is a whole other story, or should I say blog post. (psst, there's a second part to this, stay tuned!)
In 2019, let's actively take the first, second and third steps to healing. What will that look like for you? For me, it looks like surrendering to God, and as I continue to surrender the journey through healing no longer seems out of my reach, but like open arms embracing me.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget... be great. xoxo