3 Things You Should Know About Ghosting
Updated: Nov 1, 2018
Ghosting. Ah, the timeless act of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, text messages, DMs, etc. It can be with platonic or romantic relationships. One day they're around and the next it's as if they have literally disappeared off of the face of the earth.
Are you triggered yet?
Let's face it, no one likes rejection. There's nothing exciting or enjoyable about being rejected by someone, but especially when rejection comes in the form of a disappearing act. Poof! Gone! There is no: it's not you, it's me. You just get left on read and suddenly that person no longer holds a space in your life. Crazy, right?
Personally, I've never experienced a platonic ghosting encounter. Anytime, I've been ghosted it's been by a guy I was dating/"romantically" involved with. As a matter of fact, it just recently happened to me. So, I guess that's the reason I'm typing this blog post in the first place. But anyway, enough about me... let's get on to what you really came here for.
1. First things first: Ghosting sucks. Point. Blank. Periodt.
Like I said before, there's nothing enjoyable about getting ghosted. There is no other way to put it than... it sucks. It sucks because you probably really enjoyed spending time with that person or they were someone you really enjoyed talking to. Ghosting is abrupt and can happen when you least expect it, without not a single indication that the person plans on performing a magic act. To have them just up and decide that they no longer want to see or communicate with you is a blow to your feelings and your ego.
2. More than likely the person who ghosted you will stick around via social media.
This, my friends, is a phenomenon that I will never understand. This doesn't go for every ghoster, but in my experience the person that ghosted me still finds the time to continue following me on social media: liking pictures, viewing Snapchat stories, etc. If I could make it make sense I would, but alas... it just doesn't. It's as if they still want to keep you within their reach, but not enough to actually communicate with you. Whether or not you choose to block them for the sake of your sanity is up to you, and if you feel the need to entertain their illogical behavior... DON'T. You continue living your life. Don't post for them, post for YOU. (not afraid to admit I've been guilty of doing that.. whew chile, I'm growing though)
3. Ghosting will either make you decide you don't need that person around or keep you in a constant mental loop of wondering what went wrong.
Hopefully you choose (or chose) the former instead of the latter. Blaming yourself or wondering where YOU went wrong will do nothing for you after being ghosted. The only way to continue moving forward and being great (cause you are!) is to know that the person who ghosted you doesn't belong in your life for very obvious reasons. Emotionally torturing yourself by replaying the last conversation you had or the last time you hung out will do you no good, okay? None. Ghosting can be a total mind fu- well, you know where I was going but you can't delegate so much of your time and energy worrying about it.
Ultimately, I think ghosting is selfish. To me, it tells the person on the receiving end that not only do you have complete disregard for their feelings but that you don't care enough or are incapable of communicating.
Now someone might pose the question: is one actually capable of handling the harsh truth that the other person might give to them? Listen. I'm not saying that I'll have the emotional capacity to withstand that level of "keeping it real", but I'd still much rather hear something than just be ghosted. I'll update y'all when that actually happens.
I wanted to throw out some pressing questions that I've had before I go. Maybe you might even be able to answer them! Does ghosting look like one specific act? Can there be an appropriate or acceptable reason/time to ghost someone? Are there "pre-ghosting" signs? And is ghosting only okay if you haven't known the person for an extended period of time?
Alright, I'm done.
So, how do y'all feel about ghosting or what have you learned? OOH, have you been the ghoster? Let me know!
Thanks for reading, and don't forget... be great! xoxo.